THE FOUKE MONSTER. Pretty open-ended, given that no one’s ever gotten a real clear glimpse of this critter. A ghillie suit would probably do the job nicely.
JOHNNY CASH. This one’s easy: black shirt, black jacket, black pants, black shoes, dark sunglasses, guitar. Practice your smolder.
HELEN GURLEY BROWN. Find a vintage Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress, a long cigarette holder and all the pre-1997 back issues of Cosmopolitan you can muster.
DOVER LIGHTS. Wear all black and carry a flashlight that you turn off whenever anyone looks in your direction.
ROOSTER COGBURN & MATTIE ROSS. A dad-and-daughter idea! Dad needs an eye patch, cowboy hat, a horse, a bandana and a badge. Daughter needs braids, a pea coat, a Stetson and a furrowed brow. The horse is not optional.
PINT OF LOBLOLLY. Just point to your belly, because there’s a good chance that’s what’s in there.
IVORY-BILLED WOODPECKER. An invisibility cloak?
HILLARY’S EMAILS. Arrive late to the party, so your friends can all say, “But what about Hillary’s e-mails?!”
POPEYE STATUE. The one in Alma. This one’s gonna take a lot of copper body paint and a can of spinach.
BILLY BOB THORNTON. This could go a lot of different ways, but we’re feeling Angelina Jolie-era Billy Bob. Goatee, dark glasses, baseball cap, vintage shirt mostly unbuttoned. Or a beret! Definitely the beret.
PETIT JEAN. This one’s going to take a little creativity on your part. You could be a mountain … or a young French girl disguised as a boy … or a ham. Bonus points if you combine all three. (And send us pictures, pleaseandthanks.)
THE ROAD THAT DIVIDES TEXARKANA. Like an Arkansas/Texas mullet: Razorback on the front, cowboy on the back.
MAYA ANGELOU. Carry around a caged bird that’s singing.
OLD BROADWAY BRIDGE. Plank from kitchen island to countertop and refuse to move. No matter what.