Your Best-Laid Plans

Making short work of the First Ever 16th Annual World’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
Capture Arkansas | Todd Sadowski

HEADED TO the First Ever 16th Annual World’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Hot Springs this month? Here’s how to party like a leprechaun while you’re there.

6:00 P.M. • Grab your running shoes for the First Ever First Annual World’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Zero K footrace

Clocking in a whopping 299 feet—which, mind you, is still three times the length of the parade route—this race is for all the underachievers out there. But if that’s still got you nervous, don’t fret: There’s a hydration station at 149.5 feet (and the world’s biggest inflatable Irish Pub just over the finish line!).

7:30 P.M. • Grab a slice at the new Deluca’s Pizza location.

9:00 P.M. • Visit Superior Bathhouse Brewing for some (beer) suds.

8:00 A.M. • Start your day right with a visit to Will’s Cinnamon Shop.

Believe it or not, but Will Byrd hadn’t baked anything more than cake or brownies out of a box before dedicating himself to producing the best cinnamon rolls in Hot Springs. But we’re oh so glad he took the leap.

NOON • Hit the track at Oaklawn.

Test the Luck of the Irish by playing the ponies at Oaklawn. You’ll probably be getting hungry by this time, so be sure to grab one of the track’s legendary corned-beef sandwiches (for extra good luck!) and beer (for courage!).

2:00 P.M. • Take in the natural beauty of Hot Springs National Park by hiking the Goat Rock Trail.

7:00 P.M. • Pay tribute to Parade King Scott McClard by dining at McClard’s Bar-B-Q.

McClard’s has been the king of barbecue in Hot Springs since opening in 1942. But this year, owner Scott McClard has been crowned the Shortest St. Pat’s Day Parade King, and supporting the monarchy never tasted so good. Long live the king!

8:00 P.M. • Become an All Star when Smashmouth performs on the Shortest St. Pat’s Bridge Street Stage.

10:00 P.M. • Honor Parade Queen Dona Pettey with drinks at her Ohio Club

She may be this year’s Queen of Clovers for the parade, but Dona Petty has long been the Queen of Clubs—as in the legendary Ohio Club. Stop by Dona’s storied watering hole—once frequented by the likes of Al Capone and Babe Ruth—and toast to your queen.

11:00 A.M. Stretch your legs, and take in some sports history on the Hot Springs Historic Baseball Trail.

After spending Saturday night at one of The Great Bambino’s old haunts, see the other parts of Hot Springs touched by baseball history. The Historic Baseball Trail even has its own app, so you don’t run afoul.

1:00 P.M. • Mind your bees(wax) at the Josephine Tussaud Wax Museum.

6:30 P.M. • Witness the spectacle of the First Ever 16th Annual World’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

This is the main event. World’s Shortest Street in Everyday Use? Check. Leprechauns? Of course. Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders? Yup. Elvis impersonators? Sure, why not? Grand Marshal Ralph Macchio? Wax on.

8:00 P.M. • Boogie down with Three Dog Night at the Shortest St. Pat’s Bridge Street Stage.